Sexiiness!!!

Ever been taken back by someone's (gorgeous) looks and had to contain yourself from showing it..
I did...
I kinda play the "sarcastic role" so it doesn't blow their heads up..lol
but whew!
It seems to be happening to me more often nowadays...
Probably because it's the summer..
and
I'm Single..
.lol

LAME NIGGAZ....

THE ONES WHO SWEAR THEIR THE COOLEST, BE THE LAMES ONES...
I JUST SIT BACK AND LET THEM THINK THEY THE SHIT! AND THEN GO BACK LIKE A "LIL" KID AND POINT OUT HOW LAME THEY WERE..

ONE OF THE WORST THINGS U CAN BE IN THE WORLD IS LAME..

AND TO BE A LAME "NIGGA"

OH LAWRD!!!

THATS RIGHT! ONLY GOD CAN HELP YOU..

AND THE WORST PART IS...

THEIR SOOOOO MUCH SOUPED UP IN THEIR HEADS THAT THEIR THE BEST...

THEY CANT EVEN SEE THEIR "LAME" PROBLEM....SMH

OH WELL..

LAME NIGGAZ MAKE THE WORLD GO ROUND..

Regular Chick....

Why do these guys...
In public..
On the Internet..

Soup my head up like I'm the sexiest chick they've ever seen...
Come on.............
It's all a bunch of bullshit..
And it seems like the older I get..the more frequent it comes (I'm hoping that last line made sense)

See!
Cause my (sometimes) ditsy ass fall and get caught up from some of the crap they be spittin..
And then sometimes i can tell if they've said it before to other females and know that line always works..

Just so you know..
love life..
still no existent

Some guyz are cool to talk to but i still don't see myself falling in love with anyone new..
unless it's one of my guy friends that I've known for a longtime..
but even still, taking a major risk in jeopardizing a great friendship is something i do not want to do right now..

Once you get to know my personality all that sexy,cute,bangin, fat ass,lite skinned,blah,blah,blah,
don't mean shit cuz i done prolly turned yo ass off with my bitchy attitude..

And Why?

Because all that shit you was spittin to me was a bunch of bullshit!

When it comes down to it...at the end of the day//
I am just a Regular chick..

Facial Expressions...

"stressed"...

ha ha "dont wana hear it"..

.."and know that!"

"u mad suspect wit it"..

"theres a phone on my head?"..

And.....

"the norm".. look (just to throw u off)

I Cried Today....

And the timing was way off...

well i didnt actuallly go into the boo hoo cant concentrate kinda cry..

but my eyes got real full with tears and that one hurt tear came out my right eye and went dramatically down my cheek...

All this happened while i was driving.. and dancing to the music on the radio..(yes i dance and drive @ the same time)

This wat happened...

so i was thinking to myself...

damn.. since i get up and go to school every morning on sundays @ 9am in the morining and i am totally not a morning person.. what the hell was stopping me from going to church? so i decided after this semester is over ima start goin back to church..

then..

i thought about keith..

and i thought about how close we were growing up in church and how much fun we used to have going to the youth church conferences out of state, and how we were the only two our age always at church almost every sunday..and how cool it would be to catch up with him since we grew up together..

and then i remembered he got killed last sept...

and then thats when the tear came... :-(

My friend keith..

i miss him..

and im really gona miss him once i start going back to church and not see him anymore...

the sad part is..

the last time i saw him in church was in a castket..(at his wake)

Losing a friend like that is a heartbreak that can never be fixed..

I jus hope i dont cry when i see his mom.. :-<

Ugghh...

I got more to pray on..

Everything Is Just F'ed Up...

I swear...

Everyday is such a struggle for me..just to get through the smallest task..nothing in my life comes easy... (this is very stressful on my mind,heart and soul) I feel like my long terms goals are going to fall short and I'll end up in a place I don't wanna be..

With school..

I'm struggling in one class and not fully understanding what the hell is happening in the other..So I'm spending my Saturdays studying rather than going out shopping..damn..but now i see why so many people don't finish school...but I have to finish..cause i already f'ed up once..so this time I really gotta finish..

Love life..

Non-existent.. at this current time...It would feel good to have love at this time though,

especially when the weather gets nice and you could just go out and chill in the nice weather with

a significant other...but for me that's just going to be a fantasy because I don't see myself being in

a committed relationship within the next couple of years..I've set my standards high where I'm

not wasting my time with bs..If u wanna be with me, then you gotta be in it for the long run...

(that's why i said years from now...lol)

Myself in general

Half of me is just grateful to just be alive and able to write a "blog" and the other half is unhappy

with then way things are in my life.. There's nothing I could do the change my situation unless I

make an ultimate sacrifice and take a horrible risk just to seek some type of relief..but ima have

to wade this point and time in my life out right now.. ("good things come to those who wait")

On a scale 1-10.. on the inside a 4.. on the outside a 7.5

In conclusion

Just know that I'm not suffering from depression..but just may be alittle depressed at times..

but that doesn't mean I need to take Abilify,Zoloft,Effexor,Cymbalta,Lexapro,Prozac,or Paxil...lol

(patients at my job be taking all those anti depressants!.lol)

just to get through this rough patch..

I just have alot of praying to do..that's all..

~Didi

Note: This is my 1st entry so bare with me..

ok little about myself just to start before i get to the juicy stuff..

shout out to dame who told me about this site.

my name is Didi (well that's what i go by..) I'm in my twenties..I'm in college pursuing a degree in science and to get my RN, i currently work for a Dr's office (ye! me!) as a Medical Assistant so i gotta heads up in the medical field.. I have a daughter who is 18months old and the love of my life (its funny how people who don't or barely know me wouldn't believe i have a child) but i do..and she is the inspiration in my life! Hallelujah! ok that was jus a snippet about me..

So yesterday had to be the worst day ever for me..this year, because when i woke up i had the worst headache along with body ache and no sleep cuz my daughter was crying all night because she currently has a cold. after i finally worked up the strength to get up and go to work.. i gets into the car..close the the door and my back window SHATTERS!!! omg..so the 1st thing i do is call my dad so he could let me use his truck to get to work..2ND thing i do is call moms cuz the car is in her name to figure out wat my options are.. Fortunately for me i still have a warranty on the car so they'll fix it for free..AND! i get a loner car in the mean time! hallelujah! thank ya jesus..whew God is good! im jus glad that shit didn't break while my daughter was in the back seat cuz there would've been one hell of a lawsuit..and all chevy cars would be all renamed didvy...(that was kinda a lame joke but u know wat i mean)..

As time has gone by I've started to feel better about the situation (since i ain't gotta come out of pocket)

Today im going to my moms to do laundry..catch up wit my bff (congrats on her new apt) and go to the movies to see some scary sh**.. untill next time.. thanks for reading ~Didi